things are settling down....

what a hard, wonderful, awesome, heart rending few months. having a very smart, emotional child who can not comunicate with you is a hard thing. I have felt God put his arms around me and comfort me when I did not know what to do next. Lily is adjusting so well, but it has been just that, an adjustment!! I was reminded that adjustments can be very painful when Ellie got braces a couple months ago. When she goes in for an "adjustment" she is in a lot of pain for a few days....but boy do her teeth look better. Change is hard but its good. God has been so real and wonderful to me and our entire family. Lily who had never hear of God 4 months ago is now telling me that its better to be in America because we can love Jesus!!! How amazing!
Christmas has been so fun, she has never had a Christmas before so everything is new and wonderful, from lights in the neighborhood, to parties, decorating a Christmas tree to buying gifts for her family...its all new! I am reminded of how we SHOULD view the gift of the manger when I see things through her eyes.
It was a very bitter sweet day when we put up the tree. all the other kids were hanging up their ornaments and talking about who got them for them and when...I had made sure that Lily had 6 of her own but she knew and felt that it was different... I looked over and she had big crocodile tears streaming down her cheeks. I asked it it was because she didn't have as many ornaments to hang and she shook her head no, and then in the saddest little wisper she said "I want to be in America... Christmas...longer" translated, i wish i could have been a part of this family as long as everyone else has been.....my momma heart broke, i held her and we just cried together...me too sweet pea....me too!!